I’ve been wanting to post for a while now, but I haven’t been able to due to life.

I often wonder what my life would be like had I done things different. Most times I wish I had done so many things differently. The positive aspect of my life is my daughter and for that I’m grateful every day and she is the only reason I’m thankful I chose the path I’m on.

All my life I’ve let fear control me. I’ve always been afraid to fully say what’s on my mind due to judgement of others. I doing want to disappoint anyone, I don’t want anyone to think badly of me. I’ve always feared big changes, the unknown terrifies me. Part of why I’m in type of job I’m in is because I know what to expect and have some freedom over how I do my job everyday. Getting a better position would help tremendously, it would make a world of a difference financially, I might even be able to live more comfortably and better be able to provide for my child, but the thought of losing some of that control…it bothers me.

Fear has held me back and still does. I’m trying overcome this. Fear has held me back for far too long. It’s kept me from standing up for myself, it’s kept me from expressing how I truly feel to someone, maybe I lost them because of it. I’ve had several psychic readings over the years from different people (don’t judge) and each one said it to me. They’ve told me stop letting fear hold me back, that I’m not going to be really happy until I let it go.

They’re right. 100% right.

My advice is simply this: don’t let fear hold you back.

Be true to you


#fear #change # control #life


Financial Dependency

I’m going to share a story with you…

Once upon a time there was a woman who met a man and really grew strong feelings for him. She had some concerns about aspects of his life but she thought it would be fine. He loves me, I love him, this can work. Those concerns always stayed in the back of her mind but because her dreams of being settled down with someone were coming true! These two got married and had a daughter. Many concerns came back as the child started getting older and the marriage started becoming not exactly as imagined or hoped. It wasn’t all it was cracked up to be, its still not. This marriage has turned into more of a roommate situation, we go about our business, take care of our child, and that’s about it. He says he loves me, do I believe it? I guess, I wonder if he ready dug down deep if he would say he’s still in love with me. I know that’s kind of the point I’m at.

Why not leave? you might ask.

Financial dependency.

My child comes first. I would be ok on my own with her. He wouldn’t. The money isn’t there for him to live on his own and take care of her. Neither of us make a lot of money, but combined we have just enough to get by and make it work.

I hate living this way.

My advice to you all is this, don’t ever put yourself in a position where you are stuck and financially dependent on someone else. It’s an awful way to live. It’s an even worse way to live when you have a child who is your world. If you have concerns in the beginning, really think about that and take it into consideration, I didn’t. I let my thoughts of I’m getting older, I need to settle down with someone and have a baby get in the way. I gave in to pressures I put on myself and did this to myself.

Don’t do what I did. Be patient. You deserve good things in all aspects of your life.

Be true to you.


#dependency #marriage #love #my life #mistakes #realization #expectations


I had a dream last night. A friend was at my house and we were doing something, I don’t remember what. She noticed me longing for someone and was shocked to see it and she goes omg omg omg and pulls me quickly into my bedroom and comments that I’m still into him aren’t I? I comment back about how I can’t (as I’m married). She told me to reach out to him and insinuated he feels the same.

I woke up.

I almost feel like it’s a message from him. Every time he comes up in my dreams I get this feeling that he wants me to reach out. My thoughts at some point most days tend to go to him and I debate if I should reach out. Just to say hi, see how things are. Apologize for the way I was all those years ago and how things turned out. Fear merit me away and I wonder what would have happened had I just spoken my mind and said what was in my heart.

Don’t let fear hold you back. You may regret it.

Be true to you.


#dream #regret #messages #love #missed opportunities #fear


Hi! Welcome to my page of ramblings about life, love, and everything inbetween. Please be patient as I work on the look of the page, hopefully it’ll look better soon.

Be true to you